Did you ever wonder if you can enforce a baby schedule?
When you bring home your baby well-meaning people will give you little nuggets of wisdom like, “Sleep when the baby sleeps!” or “Say goodbye to your sleep!” Well, I’m here to tell you that you can put your baby on a schedule-check that-on YOUR schedule as early as one week old!
Simply follow this sample schedule (modify as you choose) and your baby will be on a schedule within one week.
Note: Failure of your baby to adhere to this schedule indicates an inherent defect in your child called, “Failure to Sched,” and could entitle you to a full refund from the hospital.
Sample Schedule:
9:00 a.m. Baby should be tired from all that birthing and thus should sleep until nine most mornings. If he only makes it until 8:45 a.m. don’t worry! It takes time to get him on this schedule. Change his diaper and nurse/feed him.
9:30 a.m. Intellectual stimulation/playtime. This is the time for your baby to start learning! It isn’t too early, no matter what anyone says. I would recommend getting started on the classics for reading time. An early appreciation of literature cannot be over-emphasized. By the time baby is three months old, he or she should be able to work a 25-piece puzzle, so get started on these early as well.
10:30 a.m. Nap. Learning is tiring and newborns need a lot of sleep.
12:00 p.m. Baby should wake refreshed. Change baby’s diaper and nurse/feed.
12:30 p.m. Physical activity. Baby needs to work on getting his muscles strong for sitting, crawling, and walking (which he should be doing by six months-get started now!). Light calisthenics should suffice.
1:30 p.m. Nap. If baby is sweaty, wipe him down before nap.
3:00 p.m. Baby should wake refreshed. Change diaper and nurse/feed.
3:30 p.m. Baby free time! Provide toys for fun and stimulation as well as a selection of flash cards so the baby can start learning the alphabet. Pro-tip: Make sure the flash cards are drool-proof.
4:30 p.m. Nap.
6:00 p.m. Baby should wake refreshed. Change baby’s diaper and nurse/feed.
6:30 p.m. Short playtime.
7:00 p.m. Bathtime
7:30 p.m. Reading time. I’ve found that my babies love the Bronte sisters, both Emily and Charlotte. It should be easy to figure out what your baby favors.
8:30 p.m. Change baby’s diaper. Nurse/feed. Play a selection of classical piano music, preferably live.
9:00 p.m. Bedtime.
There you have it! Twelve hours of baby’s schedule. There is no reason that your baby shouldn’t be sleeping twelve hours at a stretch by two weeks so I didn’t find it necessary to schedule the remaining twelve hours in the day.
At this point, I’m not going to insult your intelligence by asking when you realized this schedule was complete hooey. I suspect it was around “Failure to Sched.”
I’m not going to say that newborns can’t be scheduled but that every baby is unique and will eventually make his or her own routine. Some babies sleep a ton, some sleep not at all and most fall somewhere in the middle.
I do believe that babies even as young as newborns do best with routine. If you can find a routine that works for you, your family and most importantly, your baby, I think baby might be happier and sleep just a little better.
One more thing, if your baby doesn’t magically measure up to all the babies of your friends, don’t think you’re doing it wrong. There is no wrong. Every mom will mom differently, every dad will dad differently and every baby will baby differently. Try not to compare-it’s super hard not to but do try!
