I recently read the post by Lori Alexander about men wanting to marry debt-free virgins without tattoos. I’m not going to link it here-it’s on my Facebook page if you need to look. I don’t want to contribute any more to her viral-ness.
One of the things in her post that angered me so was the fact that she advised against women attending college, period. She argues that secular colleges are bad for Christianity as a whole and that men won’t want to marry a woman with a load of school debt. She counsels that women should focus on marriage and babies, because that’s what we’re here for, right?
Let’s ask Marie Curie about what she thinks about this. Or how about the nine women who have written coding languages? Or Rosalind Franklin, who was instrumental in the discovery of DNA.
Hey! I have an idea-let’s get back to hearth and home: Josephine Cochrane, together with mechanic George Butters, invented the first commercially successful dishwasher. In 1892, Sarah Boone obtained a patent to develop an improved ironing board. In 1919 Alice Parker devised a system for gas-powered central heating and while her exact system was never used, it was the first time anyone had conceived of using gas to heat a home.
Where would we be if these women and countless others had kept their submissive sensibilities and tended to only their children and their homes?
As far as tattoo status goes, people point to Leviticus 19:28- “Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you; I am the Lord.” In Canaan, evidently, it was common to slash, gash and brand their skin in honor of the dead and their gods. The Lord is telling them in this verse that that is not ok, as He says so and He is the Lord, the only Lord.
I’m pretty sure that a flower tattoo or an inspirational quote isn’t what God is talking about. Tattoos are personal choices and appealing to some people, not to others. Whether or not your future spouse is tattooed says nothing about their walk with Christ.
Does God want us to wait for marriage to have sex? Yes. He does. I believe He wants us to wait because it is a huge commitment to another person that requires maturity and deep love and many people who have sex before marriage are simply not ready. Does that mean that all non-virgins are unmarriable? Hell-to-the-no!
God does not dwell on our past mistakes; He cares about our present walk and where our future will take us. He wants us to acknowledge what we’ve done wrong, choose not to do it again and continue our walk with Him.
As for debt-if you decide to marry someone with $90,000 of credit card debt, that’s on you. If they have student loans that they are paying back, I feel that shows they are committed to their education and career. That level of commitment can translate to a marriage. Wouldn’t you want your spouse to bring something to the table besides their ability to reproduce? And what if you or your spouse have fertility issues? What then?
If I had happened upon an article like Lori Alexander’s when I was in my twenties, impressionable and not a member of a church-I would have run so far away from Christianity all you’d be able to see from me would be dust trails leading away from the church doors. Thankfully, I’m more solid in my faith and my knowledge that propaganda like that does not belong in my church.
